my turn to cry

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Assalamualaikum and good morning people. It's such a long time since my last post. Actually, im going to make this post early. But many things came across so i pull off this post instead. Hm, who care's. This blog still active anyway. so, have you read the title? seems like heartache right? im not gonna say brokenhearted yet cus my heart still okay, i guess :'D I wanna talk about two boys who gave me so much to remember.

Alright, firstly my dear brother Aiman Rais. He's sucha a warm, kind and cute person. We have been foster for about 3 years and now December, i can say that we are almost 4 years. typing this already making me smile and flash back all our memories back. He used to call me his Princess, his Bambam. but his favorite was Bambam. but now he's gone. i dont know where should i find him. i know he still there. watching the same moon, finding the brightest star up in the dark sky but i just dont see him. I didnt know him the way I usually know him. Sweet tooth, i just wanna say that your princess can stand on her own foot right now. I wish i can tell you that bcus that's all you wanted to hear from me. You always push me to be a big girl although you know that i cant never be the big girl you wanted without you. Little Princess, that was the last name you gave me. You promise not to leave me. You promise to take care of me. You promise to be there for me when i need you. I need you right now. I need to tell you what happen to me. I need to tell you how hurt I am, how miserable I am without your present and your advice. I've been through a lot and all i ever hope was you to hold me. but where are you now? you didnt on your wechat. you deactivated your facebook. what are you thinking? I text, your phone was off. I asked your friends about you, they say, they didnt know. I cant expect anything. but all i can question myself is where are you when i need you the most, like now :(

The second one for sure the one and only Adam Danielle. His name, ouchh, its killing me man :3 I just love him. We fight a lot, we argue a lot. but all i remember was our laugh. on call with him was the best thing to do. But last night, its happen so fast. just a few texts, i feel we're different. i dont want to think much about this. but i feel different. i dont want my heart to change. so i wanna share to you the things that make him so special to me. He's a fine boy. Tall handsome bla bla bla. describing him wont help much :b aaaaaaaa aaaaa i just love the way he treat me. dia garang. *ehh sorry, malay pula yaa :3 dia suka layan aku when i make some silly jokes when we're otphone. andd anddd wait wait, banyak sangat lah. sampai bercelaru otak -.- Hm i think just let me the only person who knows him. I dont know dia macam mana dekat luar but, I will always love him although loving him can tear me up. so i have to be more patient. just a little patient like now. I cry sayang. And i dont want to say why. bcus i want you to be the reason i smile not the reason i cry. and im just too afraid that you are no longer the reason i smile. but you are. Adam Danielle, saying your name already making me smile :) Im sorry if im not the perfect/suitable one for you. but hold my word, i will try to be one, only for you sweetheart. Loveya! plus, the reason why i always talk about my exes to you are i dont want you to be like them. I dont want us to end up as a strangers nor a friend. I want you to be mine, forever. In sha Allah :')

but the most precious moment of all these was I will never forget the moment I realized that I loved them so much until i couldnt think about anything else unless them :)

Alright guys, i mess up with my own morning. my heart? wuuu i just cant tell. the feeling that i dont even know what the fuck I feel. duhh, I think i have to glue them lah :D so bersepahh. hahahahaha, till then, havva wonderful morning ppl. Adam & Aiman, ily :'3

Adios ppl.