I Miss That Damn Guy

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Assalamualaikum. i just wanna share to all of you, or may be some of you or may be you about my shattered heart. oh my god, ya Allah. i really miss that guy. i really like him. i really adore him. i really love him. now it raining outside and my heart rain inside. It sucks on some days when I miss you so much that I go looking through old photos, old conversations, and even old statuses. And it makes me smile, but then the hurt comes back. i still remember our last date. haha, it making me laugh. we eat chocolate together with your sister. we shared the happiness like nothing will stop us. I am so mad at myself. I feel like I hate myself instead of hating you and I don't know if that's possible. Because I convinced myself I was over you and now I know it was all pretend... I pretended that I didn't look at you when you didn't notice I was. I pretended not to smile at you even i wish could do... I pretended not to be upset when we got in a fight. I pretended I didn't look forward to seeing you everyday. I pretended that I wasn't hurt when you broke my heart. I pretended I didn't miss you when you didn't come around. Now all these lies have showed me is that I miss you so much more than I had realized. I swear to god I miss you so much. I wish you would come back things would be so much better. but it will never happen :') baby i miss you so much. sincerely, a girl who is crazy in love with you. im naive, please forgive me.