New Breathe :(
ASSALAMUALAIKUM
Hello^^
I've been through a hard time lately. My heart, my mind remain calm although just God knows how miserable inside. Love come and go so do people we love. Now, i don have any strangers to love, any strangers to talk to, any strangers to cuddle with. If people asks me, i will say i had one, but its gone. Continue with laugh. I did not know how fucking i miss them so much. They change. Changing to someone that i cannot understands and never want to! Why they changed? I don want them to change. I love the old them. I love the first we meet. I miss that moment. We love each other like no ones stop. Like nothing blocking us. Once, i almost lost them. I were so happy because they still with me, but now they just go learning their own name. Leave me alone to face the world.
I always want to learn to appreciate what I have, before time makes me appreciate what I had. Yes, i've got the payment in cash. God took away them from me. Im not blaming Him. Just, please dear God, give at least one chance to make the things right back again. Especially my one and only sweet tooth. I can't take it. Live without him sames like living without oxygen. His my last breathe. Maybe you will think i thought him as my boyfriend. You absolutely wrong. I love him just like i love my own brother. Even i don have one. But he is the one. I lost him by my own mistakes. I hurt myself. Its all my fault. I keep blaming myself during his absent. Pity my heart. My heart missed him so much. It keep struggling waiting him to come and make it better. But it will never happen.
I will try to live without my breathe. Although i need it so much. But believing in God, He never give somethings that his man cannot take it. He knows every inch about His creation. He also will never get tired of you. So now, im living in this world looking for my new breathe. Right now, my life just faking to everyone that im happy. No need to find others sympathies to make us happy. Just trust on yourself. Be what who we are. Don ever feel ashamed on what you are. You should proud of yourself. At least u don have to be a bastard bitch who always find people mistakes not their own.
If they don't appreciate you, means they don;t deserve you. Maybe its hard to forget the thing we love the most such a person like my sweet tooth. But i strengthen myself base on his blog. He said he was so happy with his life now. Im glad that. The most important in my life now is seeing him happy. So i use him as my strength to face the world. By the way don't ever stressed yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in ur life. It just wasting time!
I really hope my positive thinking can achive impossible matter xD I face all the thing calmly because my tears always be my faithful crush. In my mind the principal of faith is patience. I most probably want to increase my patience so if one day if i have to lost something no more tears will be waste.
Now I just want to be a happy person. Cus my mind set there is no keys to happiness, the door is always open. Forget what i feel and remember what i deserved. My sweet tooth. he is the person who gave me so much to remember. How can i forget him? im working on :'(
Please please please don recycle the past. Life is the shortest time! Stop comparing urself with others. Pray for me i will get my better life after this. Ur kind deed worth me. Thank you so much. I moving on myself. Being independant, mare towards matured matters like my sweet tooth always told me. I will remember everything about u in my mind. But u, i will let u stay in my past. I love you Aiman Rais. Once a brother to me. Im proud of you ;')
thats all my shattered heart want to talk about. bored? get lost! toodles!
xoxo